


One Last Holiday (To Remember Me By)

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Holidays, Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-12-30
Updated: 2007-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-08 01:38:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8825071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Sam and Dean do Christmas right. Or wrong depending on your views of incest. ^~ Alternating POVs."A Very Supernatural Christmas" spoilers... Sort of, but not really.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** BP here! I wrote dear, sweet Sammy. DG wrote rough and tumble Dean. Oh how we both love them, but not as much as we love each other! Read, review, enjoy.

**Dean's POV:**

 

I sit here, observe my little brother take a drink of the eggnog, making a face as he takes a sip. He knows, and I know, that he put way to much rum in it…but it typical Winchester fashion, he won’t admit that he is wrong.

 

I try not to laugh at him, cause he would pull his Sammy act and pout. So as I look at him, I chuckle hoping that he didn’t just see that. “Hey, Sammy…?” I say as I realize that he seems to be dazing.

 

**Sam's POV:**

 

I sigh, and out of my peripheral vision see Dean chuckle. His voice breaches my stupor as much as his chuckle had. I sigh and look over at him, feeling the tears in my eyes. I blink rapidly, waiting for the classic 'Sam-is-a-girl' insult. But it never comes.

 

Instead, I barely keep my jaw off the floor as Dean slides onto the couch next to me. “Sam, talk to me.”

 

I look up at him through my fringe; he knows there's something I'm not saying... Dean always knows. I take another sip and grimace deciding it's a lost cause and set it on the table. My back stiffens instinctively as Dean lays his hand on my shoulder. As he lets it run down my spine, I shiver and sit back, trapping his hand just above my tail bone and the couch.

 

He lifts his gaze from his trapped hand to my eyes and quirks an eyebrow. I bow my head, trying to hide my face, but he just slides closer; out knees are almost touching now. I turn to face him, trapping his arm more. He goes to open his mouth, but I lean forward and press my lips against his prefect heart shaped mouth. As I do, I can feel his shock rather than see it, my own eyelids having fluttered shut, and his hand fell free. I start to move back, before he can push me away; but then I feel his hand tangling in my hair as he pulls me back against him.

 

**Dean's POV:**

 

I try to pull him close, but some how I can’t pull him close enough. God, I want to hold him and tell him that it’s all right. But how can I when I don’t even know if it will be? That I, in fact, will be here next year…when the reality is I won’t. But, no; I won’t let that effect me right now… Not when his mouth is over mine… Not when his tongue is in my mouth…trying to gain control over mine.

 

I grabbed him by his shirt, and try frantically to get the stupid buttons off so that I can remove his ridiculously ugly shirt. Damn thing's keeping me from those oh so perfect abs. Man, I still can’t believe my little brother has grown up so much and became a man I am proud to call my brother... My lover.

 

Finally Sam is helping me get his shirt off and -At last!- I mange to get his shirt off and over his shoulder. I stop and stare……

 

**Sam's POV:**

 

I feel our finger's tangling on my shirt as we pull at it. I realize as our tongues battle in his mouth, that I don't care who wins, I just want him against me. Dean finally gives a sharp tug and at least one button flies, I hear it ping against the tv. He pulls it down, the fabric pinning my arms to my sides, and then sits back, breathing hard. 

 

His hazel eyes are appraising as they burn a trail up my abs, across my pecs and then into my eyes. "Oh, Sammy," he breathes, pulling off his over shirt as I struggle to free myself. I just get it off when I look up to see him cross his arms and grab the hem of his t-shirt. 

 

In almost slow motion I watch him rise up on his knees slightly as he pulls it over his head. My gasping breaths are halted as that perfect golden skin is revealed. I lick my lips as the necklace bounces back onto his chest as he whips his shirt across the room. 

 

I sit up, matching the hot desire in his eyes and grab the necklace in my hand as I pull him on top of me in a searing kiss. His knees are on the couch on either side of my left leg, and I feel my cock jump in my constricting jeans as he bends his arms and lets his body rest on mine as he bites my lower lip, begging entrance once more...

 

Dean's POV:

 

I lay my body down on top of him, and beg him for entrance to that sweet mouth of his. And like always he grants me. However, this time I will be the one with the all the dominance. 

 

I start to grind against him; good... It feels _so **good**_ , and I can feel that he is hard. I want so bad to stay like that, with him all Horny and desperate for me to touch him. I love when he is like that, totally in my control... It's so perfect that I don’t think he realizes what he does to me. 

 

Finally, I take some pity on him and I start to unbutton his pants, sliding my hand down his pants I feel his hard cock and I can tell that he wants me really bad. The moan that comes out of his mouth tells me it's true.

 

“Oh, God; Dean.” I try to fight back the tears, I try to not to ruin the mood right now. Man I hope that I never forget that sound. Forget that look on his face. 

 

**Sam's POV:**

 

I feel my eyes slam shut as Dean's just calloused hand slides into my jeans. "Oh, God... _Dean_..." I've felt this before, I know this feeling... But it's so much more. The feeling of him surrounds me, and it's like all the other times have just been a dream...like this is the only time it's really happening.

 

Like this is the last time it's going to happen.

 

I keep my eyes screwed shut against the tears, feeling like an idiot; he's tearing my clothes off, and I'm crying like a girl?

 

I clench my jaw and open my eyes. Dean's hazel eyes are shining more than they usually do. He's not looking at me, he's memorizing me. His gaze is burning my flesh as it skates over my jaw, across my lips, and up my nose -rests on my mole- and then up into my eyes.

 

He clenches his jaw and pulls back. "Dean?" I whisper, just loud enough to be heard over the carols in the background. I sit up and look into his eyes, seeing the same fear rotting my soul there.

 

I pull in a deep breath and try to ignore the tear that slides down my own cheek as I brush away his -Not that he would admit he had feelings, he's not a chick. 

 

I lay my hand on his cheek and keep it there until he looks at me. His eyes are swimming with tears, and I can feel my own flowing. I ignore them and pull him back against me. I can feel him gasp as we kiss. 

 

There's something new between us now, something unspoken, but definitely acknowledged. It's as if there's a cocoon around us. I can feel his tears on my cheek as we lay back down together, kissing, just kissing. 

 

I run my hand up his back, making sure to hit each vertebrae and he shivers, pulling back to look at me.

 

“Dean, I... I...” I lose my nerve. “Nothing.”

 

His eyes get soft, “I nothing you too, Sam.” I feel the meaning of the words hit me, and it's like I'm glowing. I knew he loved me, but he never said it... I look at him and I know... We won't be fucking tonight. Tonight we're making love, dammit. I pull him back on top of me and kiss him with abandon, my hands working on his jeans...

 

 

**Dean's POV:**

 

Man, I wish that I could tell him that I. * **Love** *. Him, “I love you, Sammy.” I mean, com’on it’s so simple. And yet... I can’t tell him...But some how I think that he knows. I can still feel his tears on my cheek. I wonder if he can feel mine... 

 

I don’t usually cry, I try to be the big brother. Show him that I’m the strong one. But man, right now, I could not care less. It fucking Christmas, and I have my baby brother under me, moaning, giving me everything. 

 

"Oh, God.” Did that just come out of me...? “ Sammy... !” I moaned as he slips his hand in my pants. I can feel his hand as it wraps around my cock. It seems like forever that we are there, just kissing and exploring each other. 

 

But I know my lil’ bro and I know what he really wants, so I sat up and look at him before laying back down...so that I can feel the true skin on skin. But it doesn’t last long because I can feel his little nubs rubbing against me. I wouldn’t be Dean Winchester if I didn’t sit up and put them in my mouth.

 

“Dean...God....” I grinned to myself, knowing that I can do that to my baby brother. I can now feel him pushing up, but I keep him down. He looks at me like as if he is saying “You suck”. I look at his chest and I finally lean down and lick his stomach and go up. Even though I know that he wants me to go down. I can now feel his hands on my head. “ _Dean_..." he moans yet again...

 

**Sam's POV:**

 

I don't even bother to fight the whimper as he moves his cock out of reach of my hand, his smirk widens and he sits up further just so he can look at me, memorize me again... I shiver and he lays down against me once more. I arch my back, pressing harder against him, and he slides slowly back, his fiery tongue laving my nipples in devilish delight. 

 

I arch further, not hearing the words that fall from my lips, his hands keep me pressed into the couch and I look at him, clearly showing my disapproval. He waits a long moment, and I growl, finally urging him back into action. He slowly licks my abdomen, moving up instead of down the way my blood is flowing.

 

He makes his way to my neck and sets himself into the task of marking me as his. I feel my hips jerk as he lays a sharp bite on my neck and then soothes it with his able tongue.

 

He bites me again and I cry out, once at the bite, and then again at the feeling of our erections brushing against each other. 

 

I have never hated demin as much as I did in that moment, feeling it separate us. I unclench my hands from the couch and slowly lift his head, I can see the desire there... and know it matches my own.

 

He stands up and hold out his hand, I lay my hand in his and he helps me stand up. I push his pants down off his hips, and know that my breath hitched as his husky legs came into view. Always did.

 

His own breath stops as he pushes my own jeans down. He seems completely focused on me, he lifts his gaze to my eyes and kisses me again, our bodies touching at every possible point. I wrap my arms around him, pulling him as close as I can before he pushes me back against the couch. I can feel him smile into the kiss as I keep my arms around him as I let gravity slam me into the couch.

 

I feel his biceps bunch as he holds himself up so he won't crush me, I feel him shiver as I state my hand up his back and the band-aid scratches across his neck, I feel him rut against me as my right hand swoops down to the small of his back.

 

I can't help but moan, he swallows my whimpers and then pulls back to look at me again. I lift my hips slightly and his eyes burn with desire and he leans down to swallow me whole...

 

**Dean's POV:**

 

I slowly began to kiss him, moving down his body. It's unhurried at first but soon I reach the Mecca, the dark black hairs pointed out. I smirk at my prize. It is so perfect, so I reached out and began to stroke it; Sam looks at me with pure lust. I can’t take it any more I bend my head and take him fully in my mouth...licking the head and tasting the precum that is on the tip.

 

“Dean…Dean…” he whimpers softly, I smile when I realize that when he is in this position all he can remember is my name, and well faster and harder. But that comes a little later....

 

I start to take him deeper, trying not to gag on my little brother's cock. He gasps as I deep-throat him, pulling at my hair trying to get me to go deeper, (Truthfully, I don’t think I can). But it doesn’t stop him from trying...

 

**Sam's POV:**

 

I know that I'm saying something, know that a jumble of consonants and vowels are pouring form my mouth, and instinctively I know that they make sense, but I honestly couldn't tell you what they were even if my life depended on it...

 

Dean's mouth is so hot as it surrounds me; God, I can feel him everywhere... I put my hands on the back of his head and push, harder than I mean to, but it gets the point across a little better I realize and he nicks me gently with his teeth. I arch my hips up, he's teasing me... Knows I like it a little rough and tumble sometimes...

 

I know I'm screaming his name now, he's got his mouth around me, sucking my brain through my dick...and one finger teasing my entrance... Oh, God... I'm whimpering, about to lose it like a friggin' kid...

 

He pulls back and blows. "Fuckin'JesusHell!" The cold air hits me like ice and my cock jumps. I throw my head head back and beg for more... I'm losing it, not really sure what's going on just knowing that I want more...

 

Dean's got my legs over his shoulders... And then his mouth is one me. "HOLYMOTHEROFFUCKING!!!" He's not sucking my cock now; no, he's rimming me. 

 

Jesus H. Christ! Dean never does that, lets me do it when ever I want to, but hasn't ever returned the favor... God, now I know why he likes it so much. I can feel his tongue touching me in the most intimate ways... He runs it over that pucker, and then plunges it all the way in.

 

"FUCK!"

 

If he could, I'm pretty sure he'd be smiling right now. He fucks me on his tongue, holding my hips so I can't move as he just takes his time. 

 

God damn, that man is strong is about the only coherent thought I have before he pushes two fingers inside me scissoring them, preparing me -With his mouth on my balls. 

 

He lays me back on the couch, not removing his hand, but he takes my cock in his mouth again and I feel my hips jerk up; I'm close...so damn close. He crooks his fingers and I can't help it, I'm shooting my load into his mouth without even an attempted warning and he's swallowing all of it, and still plunging his fingers in me. 

 

I pull him up for a kiss, and for a moment -the slightest moment- his fingers still as he kisses me.

 

"Dean," I whisper, trying to hide my begging, "Now, please, God, now..." I can feel him smile and he moves his hand, guiding my hips to him...

 

 

**Dean’s POV:**

 

God, I can’t get him opened fast enough nor can I recover fast enough from him erupting in my mouth, but God I love every moment of it. Tasting that which is all SAM. But when he pulls me up for a kiss, I know that he likes to taste himself, although he would never admit it.

 

But now he is begging, I can hear “ Dean…God…now” all between moans and I know that he is opened enough and wants me so bad that he can taste it. I slowly remove my fingers from his tight hole, not before going deep in him and fingering one less time, hitting his prostate . I think that he literally hit the ceiling. I chuckle as I slowly remove my fingers, “Alright Sammy; condom or not?”

 

I can tell he is thinking it over, but I grabbed them anyways, because I know that I fuck everything that moves, although I don’t know why… I think it all comes back to dad... NO; I shouldn’t be thinking about him right now.

 

Putting the condom on, I shake in pressure for my cock is so sensitive, so little by little I put the condom over my leaking hard cock. I can see that Sam is watching me; that's another thing he likes to watch. Not that I am complaining; I love it when he watches me, it's a big turn on.

 

I push him back down and lift his legs on my shoulders, God he looks so perfect right now. I can’t stand it, I so want just to shove it in. But no I will not hurry this I want to remember it. 

 

Taking my cock I lined up at his entrance, I look him right in the eyes, asking permission. I always do that because I want to make sure that he is on the same page. He nodded giving me silent permission. I began to slowly push in his eyes go wide, his bright brown eyes stare in amazement as my cock breaches his tight entrance… God I would give to know what he is thinking.

 

**Sam's POV:**

 

I can feel everything, every hair is standing at attention as he slowly enters me. God, I can't even think. He's put my legs in such a position that I can't do anything to make him move faster. He pulls out and languidly begins to rock his hips.

 

We never do this. 

 

I mean, sure; we've fucked on numerous occasions, that does tend to happen when they're the only person they can depend on no matter what... 

 

But this... The was Dean's hands kept touching him, anywhere he could reach... The way their hips joined together over and over, slowly, perfectly. I feel my back arching as he runs a hand down my chest and hits my prostate. 

 

I can hear him, it's raining words of love down on me... But he never actually says he loves me... I reach up and pull him down, kissing him.

 

I'm practically bent in half as his lips touch mine, my legs over his shoulders and against my chest... But I don't care, God, I love him so much.

 

And all of a sudden, I notice I'm crying. Tears streaming down my cheeks... It isn't fair, it's not fair that it took all of this for me to realize that I didn't just love him as a brother, didn't just like getting fucked and being fucked by him... But that I was absolutely in love with him... And I was gonna lose him.

 

Not to someone else, which I could have dealt with... At least that way I could still see him... But I was going to lose him to nothing, to the next great adventure...

 

He's pulls back, rocking his hips a little harder, and I can feel an orgasm building in me again... I lift my hand to his face, and he leans into it; his eyes still closed.

 

I fall back and just before I fall into my second explosive climax, I hear myself shout. "Love you! God, love you so much..."

 

**Dean's POV:**

 

Seeing his face is enough to send me over the edge…God, seeing his eyes slam shut, the way that his vein in his neck stretched, the way his head shoots back…God I think that I’m …I’m…I’m…. I’m fucking there; I pumped into once more before I erupted into him. I see his face when he realizes and it’s pure pressure, he brings me right into a second orgasm just by the way that he is looking at me .

 

The aftershock courses though my body, and my body shakes every time. Breathing heavy I lay myself down on the hard well-toned chest of my brothers…and god it feels so …I don’t think that I could describe it. But having my head there hearing and feeling his heart beat. Having my head raise and fall as he breathes.

 

It all perfect until I remember something; Sam was crying, as we made passionate love, I push myself up I look at, really look at him. He stares at me and we are quiet for a long moment. Finally I take my hand and wrap away the tears and whisper , “Sammy, I’m not going anywhere…I promise, Sammy; I promise.”

 

I leaned forward and capture in a breathless kiss, he looks at me and smiles. I know that he doesn’t believe me…but it doesn’t matter….cause whether I'm here in person or in spirit I will never leave him. And that’s the promise that I’m making him right now…I promise him that I will always be here.

 

**Sam's POV:**

 

I feel him kiss me and I smile, because I know that's what he wants, hell it's what I want... To smile and be happy and just...

 

He lays his head back down on my chest, and I know he can't tell I've started crying again, slow silent tears.

 

I know Dean will never leave me, not really; I'll always have memories... But now... Even now he can't admit that he loves me, can't say those words.

 

I wrap my arms around him as he starts to fall asleep, and know that I'm not giving up, I'm not letting them take him from me. I love him too much.

 

"Stop thinking so hard, Sammy," I hear him say, his voice scratchy. "You know I love you."

 

My heart stops in that moment... He finally said it.

 

I always knew it, but he never said it... 

 

And that's when I knew... My brother was really going to die. He was going to leave me, and I was going to be alone...


End file.
